Writing Trait/Strategy:

organization; structure

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Someday by Eileen Spinelli
• When I Was Little: A Four-Year-Old’s Memoir of Her Youth by Jamie Lee Curtis
• I Am the Dog, I Am the Cat by Donald Hall
• Rosie and Michael by Judith Viorst
• Grandad Bill’s Song by Jane Yolen
• That’s Good! That’s Bad! by Margery Cuyler
• Fortunately by Remy Charlip
• My Mom Travels a Lot by Caroline Fellar Bauer
• Tough Boris by Mem Fox

Description:

The seesaw pattern is a simple pattern to teach young students, especially when you have mentor texts to model its use. Read aloud one of the books listed above and explain to students that it has a special pattern. After reading the book, ask students what pattern they noticed. Explain that this is called a seesaw pattern and is a common technique used by writers. Some writers use it throughout the entire book; others use this craft just in a section of a book. Choose a pattern and have students create one page for a class traveling book.  The samples below come from a class advice book that my students made for a teacher who had just had a baby.

Student Samples:

Writing Trait/Strategy:

Word Choice; Sentence Fluency

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Come On, Rain! by Karen Hesse
• The Storm Book by Charlotte Zolotow
• Twilight Comes Twice by Ralph Fletcher
• White Snow, Bright Snow by Alvin Tresselt
• All the Places to Love by Patricia MacLachlan
• Hello Ocean by Pam Munoz Ryan

Description:

To introduce this technique, select a picture of something from a catalog or magazine. Without showing it to the students, tell them that you have a picture of an “amazing car”, “a cute puppy,” “an awesome bicycle,” or whatever. Ask students to form a mental image of it and then draw a picture of it. If they ask for more details, give them adjectives like neat, great, fantastic, delicious. After giving them time to draw, show them the actual picture and compare. Students will realize that you did not give them enough specific details.

Next read aloud well-written descriptions from a mentor text to model how to describe a character, object, or place.

When ready to have students begin elaborating on a description, assign a topic sentence about a character, a setting, or object. Before they begin writing, ask them to “take a mental snapshot” and have them practice listing all the questions that a reader might ask about the subject. For example, if writing a description to follow the sentence, “I found an old box in the corner,” questions might include:

• How big was the box?
• Was it open or closed?
• What room was it in?
• To whom did it belong?
• What did the outside of it look like?
• Was there anything in it?
• Did you open it?
• What was it made out of?
• What condition was it in? (Mariconda, 1999)

After they have listed and answered the questions, students can write their descriptions. This should first be modeled as a whole group mini-lesson, and then students should each write their own answers and descriptions.

When students are just getting started, it is helpful to give them a list of sentence starters so that their descriptions don’t end up being just a “grocery list” of adjectives or descriptive phrases. Some helpful sentence starters include:

• I noticed..
• It was evident that…
• As I ran my hand down…
• They were surprised to see..
• He couldn’t help but notice…
• My eye was drawn to…
• She could make out the sound of…

Student Samples:

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Beach by Elisha Cooper
• Big Mama’s by Donald Crews
• Outside, Inside by Carolyn Crimi
• In the Tall, Tall GrassIn the Tall, Tall Grass by Denise Fleming
• Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
• Bunny Cakes by Rosemary Wells

Description:

One way to dramatically improve student writing is to teach them about specificity of nouns and verbs. Many students have been taught that adding adjective makes writing more descriptive. The truth is, stronger nouns and verbs hold the secret to better descriptive writing.

Specific Nouns and Verbs

The more specific the verb, the more accurately the writer can convey an image or create a scene. Give students a sentence with the verb blanked out. Have them brainstorm a list of verbs that could be used to complete the sentence.

The car _________ down the road.

(skidded, raced, swerved, putzed, flew)

Nouns need to be specific and concrete, too. Have students brainstorm specific nouns for a list of vague ones.

bird = cardinal
dog = German shepherd
things = paper clips
flower = chrysanthemum
boy = student

Proper Nouns

Encourage students to revise some of their common nouns and replace them with proper nouns. This is another effective way to achieve specificity. Using people names, place names, or brand names brings credibility to a text and conjures up stronger images for the reader.

• Saturdays and Teacakesby Lester Laminack
• Uptown by Brian Collier
• Come On, Rain! by Karen Hess
• Missing May by Cynthia Rylant
• Baby by Patricia MacLachlan

Color Words

Color words can also be spruced up a bit with a dose of specificity. Color words do not have to be limited to the primary colors or the colors of the rainbow. Try bringing in strips of paint samples or having students look through their crayon boxes and making lists of synonyms for the basic colors. Why write blue when we could write sapphire, powder blue, azure, Air Force blue, cobalt, electric blue, denim, cyan, cornflower, indigo, royal blue, steel blue, ultramarine, or sky blue…and this list could go on. Click here for more writing mini-lessons and mentor texts that use color.

Hyphenated Adjectives

While strings of adjectives do not generally enhance descriptive writing, the use of hyphenated adjectives can add specificity and voice to a piece. Adjectives should be powerful, purposeful, fresh, and interesting. (Cappelli and Dorfman, 2007). A hyphen indicates that two words should be thought of as one, especially when using two adjectives or groups of words that are acting as a unit. (Anderson, 2005). Share examples from mentor texts and then invite students to try some on their own. Try giving them fill-in-the-blank phrases to practice.

• The Divide by Michael Bedard
• Up North at the Cabin by Marsha Wilson Chall
• My Mama Had a Dancing Heart by Libba Moore Gray
• Baseball, Snakes, and Summer Squash by Donald Graves

Examples from  My Mama Had a Dancing Heart by Libba Moore Gray:

“Bless the world it feels like a tip-tapping song-singing finger-snapping kind of day.”

“…out we’d go into the red-orange morning with kites and balloons tied to our wrists.”

Writing Trait/Strategy:

word choice; sentence fluency

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Hailstones and Halibut Bones by Mary O’Neill
• White is for Blueberry by George Shannon
• Color Me a Rhyme: Nature Poems for Young People by Jane Yolen
• My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss
• A Color of His Own by Leo Lionni
• Shades of Black: A Celebration of Our Children by Sandra and Myles Pinkney
• A Rainbow All Around by Sandra and Myles Pinkney
• The Black Book of Colors by Menena Cottin

Description:

Color is a tool used by writers to enhance their descriptive writing and create mind pictures for the reader. The mentor texts listed above can be used to show students how different authors use the concept of color to develop their ideas. We can even have students borrow the structure of these books and explore colors on their own. The following lesson is an example:

Color Poems

Read aloud Hailstones and Halibut Bones by Mary O’Neill. Have each child select a color to write about. Ask, “If you could taste this color, what would it taste like? If you could hear it, what would it sound like?” Repeat with all 5 senses. Have students record their ideas on a planning sheet (pp. 107-108). On their first drafts most students will use simple sentences such as,

“Blue is the sight of the sky.”

“Pink is the taste of watermelon.”

Encourage them to expand these sentences to include more description to create mind pictures for the reader:

“Blue is the sight of the sky when the cumulus clouds

are moving to different parts of the sky.” by Jaymi

“Pink is the taste of watermelon squirting juice

in my mouth when I bite into a piece.” by Kelly

After students complete their drafts on the planning sheets, have them write color poems using some of the words and phrases and then illustrate.

Check out this website for another variation on these color poems:  "Have You Heard the Sound of…" Poems

In other mentor texts, color is used more subtly but just as powerfully:

“The farms in Iowa. They are pictures: White houses. Red roofs. Green, green
rolling hills and black garden soil all around them.”

from Tulip Sees America by Cynthia Rylant

“The garden glows with cone flowers, purple-blue, and marigolds, lantana,
as flame and thistles, too.”

from Butterfly House by Eve Bunting

“He calls to me with a promise in his voice, and I run, seeing his hand curl
like a flower budding, then unfolding wide so I can see the pink circle of a
worm, the round beetle shining in gold armor, …or the leaf-green mantis
balancing today on long thin legs.”

from My Father’s Hands by Joanne Ryder

Other mentor texts that have examples of color words:

• My Mama Had a Dancing Heart by Libba Moore
• The Seashore Book by Charlotte Zolotow
• The Days Before Now by Margaret Wise Brown

Once you call attention to author’s use of color, you and your students will begin to notice examples everywhere!

Writing Trait/Strategy:

poetry tools

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• A Fire in My Hands by Gary Soto
• I Thought I Heard the City by Lilian Moore
• Until I Saw the Sea: A Collection of Seashore Poems by Alison Shaw

See also suggested literature for metaphor, simile, and personification.

Description:

Imagery is the writer’s use of words to create mental pictures or images for the reader. The use of figures of speech and vivid descriptions creates strong images.

Activity:

Six-Room Poem (Heard, 1999): Have students draw six boxes on a piece of blank paper and label each box.

Ask questions to help students fill in each box.
Room 1: Think of a subject from nature—something amazing, beautiful, or interesting. Close your eyes and try to visualize it clearly. Notice details, and describe it as accurately as you can.
Room 2: Look at the same image, but just focus on the quality of light. Is the sun bright? Is it a dull, flat day? Are there any shadows? Describe any colors you see. Room 3: Picture the same image and focus only on sounds. Are there any voices? Rustling of leaves? Sound of rain? If it’s silent, what kind of silence—empty, lonely, peaceful?
Room 4: Write down any questions you have about the image. Anything you want to know more about? Anything you wonder about?
Room 5: Write down any feeling you have about this same image.
Room 6: Look over the five rooms and select one word, or a few words, a phrase, a line, or a sentence that feels important and repeat it three times.

After the boxes are completed, have students use the words and phrases to create a free verse poem. They can rearrange the rooms in any order, eliminate rooms, words, or sentences. Students can use this same technique for poems about people, animals, experiences. (The labels for each box can change depending on the subject). It is a great way to brainstorm ideas before attempting to draft a poem.

Sample poem written from 6-room boxes:

Writing Trait/Strategy:

Word choice; simile

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Borrowed Black by Ellen Bryan Obed
• Easy as Pie: A Guessing Game of Sayings by M. Folsom
• If You Hopped Like a Frog by David M. Schwartz
• It Figures: Fun Figures of Speech by Marvin Terban
• Owl Moon by Jane Yolen (or any other book by Yolen)
• Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood
• Similes by Joan Hanson
• Storm in the Night by Mary Stolz
• The Elephant’s Child by Rudyard Kipling
• There’s a Frog in My Throat by Loreen Leedy and Pat Street

Description:

A simile is a figure of speech that compares two things using the words “like” or “as” . The writer uses similes to create mind pictures for the reader.

Simile Traveling Book

Click here for traveling book directions. Choose a person that everyone in the class knows. A school staff member works well. Have the class brainstorm adjectives and characteristics that describe the person. Next have them compare each characteristic to an animal or object and write each in the form of a simile.

Subject: Mr. Murphy, the school principal

Sample simile:  “Mr. Murphy is like a lion because he is king of the school.”

Have each child illustrate one simile, compile the pages into a book and give it to the person as a gift.

Riddle Poems

Read aloud poems such as those in Do Not Feed the Table by Dee Lillegard, but omit the titles. Have students try to guess what object the poet is describing. Ask which words in the poems helped them figure it out. Have students select their own subject and write riddle poems using metaphor, simile, and personification to describe the subject without stating what it is. Have pairs of students exchange poems and try to guess.

Purpose

• To introduce students to the entire writing process in a non-threatening way
• To introduce and reinforce literacy skills and conventions of language
• To give students authentic purposes and audiences for writing
• To introduce students to writing workshop and classroom publishing
• To give every child the opportunity to experience early success as a writer
• To build the confidence of even struggling or reluctant writers

Procedure

1. Introduce the new skill  by identifying and describing it (see examples in the downloadable document below).
2. Read aloud one or more mentor texts that have many examples of the targeted skill. I like to read one as an introduction the first day and then reread it or read other examples on subsequent days.
3. Have students brainstorm a list of examples as you write them on chart paper. Examples may come from the read aloud book, other books, personal experience, etc. Generate a list of several more examples than the number of students you have (25 students/30 examples). The following are helpful resources that include lists of words that can be used for word study and word play: The Reading Teacher’s Book of Lists by Edward Fry, et al,The Writing Teacher’s Book of Lists by Gary Muschla, and my personal favorite The Big Book of Phonics Fun by Carson-Dellosa.
4. Leave the chart posted so students can add more examples that they find in their daily reading.
5. On subsequent days review the generated list and have each student choose a different example to write about and/or illustrate. Have each child do a rough draft of his/her page for the book.
6. Depending on the level of your students, have them peer edit or do a teacher edit with or for them.
7. Have students complete the final copy.
8. Design or have a student design a cover. Compile all student pages. Add the Traveling Book parent letter (download below) to the front of the book and the Kind Compliment sheet (download below) to the back of the book. Bind together into book form.
   
9. Circulate the published book among the students, allowing each child to take the book home for a day or two. Students share the book with their families and ask family members to respond to the book on the Kind Compliment page.

Traveling Book Ideas and Directions
Traveling Book Parent Letter
Kind Compliments

Writing Trait/Strategy:

Word choice; metaphor

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• all the small poems and fourteen more by Valerie Worth
• Water Music by Jane Yolen
• Color Me a Rhyme by Jane Yolen
• Snow, Snow by Jane Yolen
• Do Not Feed the Table by Dee Lillegard
• Little Night by Yuri Morales
• Love is a Handful of Honey by Giles Andreae
• Miracle Tree by Christobel Mattingley
• Odes to Common Things by Pablo Neruda
• Once I Was Scared by Helena Pittman
• Ordinary Things by Ralph Fletcher
• Say Something by Mary Stolz
• Silver Seeds by Paul Paolilli and Dan Brewer
• The Patchwork Cat by William Mayne
• The Ocean Is… by Kathleen Kranking

Description:

Metaphor is a figure of speech that compares two things but does not use the words “like” or “as” (e.g., Ann is a walking encyclopedia). Metaphor is a little trickier to explain than simile, but with lots of exposure to mentor text examples, they get it and are so excited to begin using it in their writing.

Student Samples:

Writing Trait/Strategy:

Word choice; personification; poetry tools

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• Arnie the Doughnut by Laurie Keller
• Dirty Laundry Pile by Paul Janeczko (ed.)
• Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert
• The Scarecrow and His Servant by Philip Pullman
• The Goldfish Yawned by Elizabeth Sayles
• School Supplies: A Book of Poems by Lee Bennett Hopkins
• The People Could Fly by Virginia Hamilton
• My Secret Surprise by Jasper Tomkins
• Winter Barn by Pater Parnell
• Do Not Feed the Table by Dee Lillegard

Description:

Personification is a comparison in which something that is not human is described with human qualities. This tool is used especially by poets, but authors of other texts as well, to create mind pictures for the reader. Introduce this literary craft to students by pointing out examples in mentor texts such as those listed above.

Activity:

Have students go on a “personification walk.” Have them make a list of things they notice (trees, clouds, rocks, grass, wind, etc.) Ask them to choose one and make a list of ways their subject seems human or animal-like. Example: Trees = Giant hands reaching toward the sky. (Heard, 1999)

Writing Trait/Strategy:

Word choice; poetry tool

Mentor Text Suggestions:

• A Twister of Twists, A Tangler of Tongues and Busy Buzzing Bumblebees and Other Tongue Twisters by Alvin Schwartz
• All About Arthur—An Absolutely Absurd Ape by Eric Carle
• Alligators All Around by Maurice Sendak
• Alphabet Annie Announces an All-American Album by Susan Purviance and Marcia O’shell
• Animalia by Graeme Base
• Dinorella: A Prehistoric Fairy Tale by Pamela Duncan Edwards
• Faint Frogs Feeling Feverish and Other Terrifically Tantalizing Tongue Twisters by L. Obligada
• Four Famished Foxes and Fosdyke by Pamela Edwards Duncan, 1995.
• Six Sick Sheep: One Hundred Tongue Twisters by Beverly Collins and Stephanie Calmenson
• Some Smug Slug by Pamela Duncan Edwards
• The Awful Aardvarks Go to School by Reeve Lindbergh
• The Biggest Tongue Twister Book in the World by Gyles Brandeth
• The Wacky Wedding: A Book of Alphabet Antics by Pamela Duncan Edwards
• The Worrywarts by Pamela Duncan Edwards
• Toad by Ruth Brown

Description:

Alliteration is the occurrence in a phrase of two or more words having the same initial sound (e.g., wailing in the winter wind) It is a tool frequently used by poets to create rhythm and music.

Activities:

• Give each student or pair or students some sticky notes. Ask them to brainstorm as many words as they can that begin with an assigned letter and write one word on each sticky note. Then have them manipulate the sticky notes to compose a sentence/poem/story using as many of the words as they can. Allow them to use extra blank sticky notes for “glue words” such as the, and, or, etc.
• Write an alliteration class alphabet book. Use Animalia by Graeme Base as a model.